Thursday, September 8, 2011

Nonsense #5

And I know I fuck up
N don’t speak up enough
Bout all the times
That your struggle to me means love
Bout the secrets I keep
When I’m being me
Im not the daughter in the womb
U conceived with dreams n imagination
Painted scholarly portraits of
Im the girl you never could’ve seen coming
Im the girl you wish you could tame
You wish was thinner, paler, prettier, whiter, 
Typical American female-er
With a degree in pharmaceutics
And medicine
And legal practices
In that order
All from ivy leagues like hah-vard
Im the girl you wish you couldn’t always see
Every morning
Every night
Fatass eyeliner
Imperfect skin
Big hoops thru my lobes
And too much ass in my jeans
(But the ass you see don’t even exist!)
And im telling you now
I been respecting your expectations
Your final cut for me
Your lingering desires
For privilege like this
In your sunken childhood
Drowned the moment you escaped
Your only home
To find refuge in strife
Im not the daughter
U conceived only to be confined
In others judgments
Coz your blood and your fight
And your immigrant resilience
Pulses under my ribcage
Day after day
One battle to the next
Im not the daughter
Wholl ever fill your wishful reflections
My mirror
Shows me not who you wished
You had been when young
But who I hold potential to be

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