Big contrast to today, yesterday was a fucking good day ♥ my first blood donation was a breezeeeee n I got to be there with y____ bcos her slot was when I was still hooked up. I couldn’t stop laughing cos she was making silly faces n nervous as hell n just freakin the fuck outttt. Before she was even giving, she was hyperventilating pretty bad n basically ready to cry! But she did so welllll n was done damn quick!
When Mr. Nguyen came in, he said, “k__! The whole nguyen clan is in here right now!” LOL
Honestly, I was pretty damn nervous too cos I was worried bout fainting, not reacting well, or worst, being deferred :( m_____ came with me, which was so sweet of her ♥ but she hadda sit far away from me cos they couldn't have people standing in the narrow aisle (nurses needed easy access to patients), n then she had class n left. I felt so bad tha she was forreal sitting there for 15 min waiting for me tho! I had no idea!
My blood test went fine (not anemic!!!), finding my vein was fine. All the nurses were so nice, n Martin Kimberly, the one who got me set up n everything was so good about my questions n taking care of me. I honestly couldn’t feel the needle inside my arm as I was squeezing the stress ball. It was all soooooo much less painful than I expected! So fucking easy! (But y____ said it hurt the whole time, especially the prick of the blood test n insertion...poor thanggg!) Seeing the needle just chillin in my arm was grossly amazing though. It just looked so clearly unnatural, n it didn't make sense to me how my skin n a thin layer of flesh was holding it in place n not letting any blood lose around the opening. The needle looked thickkkkk too. Reminded me of Requiem for a Dream, with all the nasty shots of the guy shooting up heroine into his open wounds. Yuck. Then he ends up getting his arm amputated. I hadda stop thinking bout that cos it wasn't a very good time to hahah.
The color of my blood, slash everyone's, was so opaque n dark too. So ruby. Kinda beautiful, but still a lil gross. Hahah, I wanted to watch Martin take the needle outa me, but didn't since he told me to look away! Plus, I didn't wanna make him uncomfortable!
For most of my process, I was laying facing Mr. Moore, n I swear his face did not change the whole damn time. It was badass, so I tried the same thing, but ended up smiling a lot! Shot him a thumbs up when he was done, n he nodded back :) I always wonder if he knows me as the girl who misses a lot of assemblies...or if he even makes the connection between my name n my face.
Goodnizzz, I was just so stressed bout getting lightheaded, nauseous, or fainting, thus cutting my donation short. That paranoia was the worst part of the process, but it was all silly :) although it was a liiiiil concerning when I'd try to get up or move after I'd been bandaged n Martin n another nurse would come to me reallll quick n ask me to just stay down! They were seriously so worried but I wasn’t even sure why! They hadn’t been that way with anyone else, n they did it 3 times. Lol all good though, I was just so happy that everything went smoothly :) n it was perfect the way the slots worked out, cos I got to just chill with apple juice n snackies n be there for y____ during hers. I think we've been noticeably closer since the weekend! N ohhhh damn I felt so bad when we were on our way out n I knocked her juice over a table thing in the front of the trailer! We flipped a shit, n were cleaning it up as sneakily as we could!
As he was setting me up, Martin told me, “Thank you. You’re gonna save 3 people’s lives today.”
It's such an interesting, dumbfounding thing to think about, the concept of saving a single, much less 3, lives. Me, of all people hahah. It made me so happy to hear that n think, fuck yeah! I can do that! I mean, I know not every situation that requires blood transfusions are life-or-death matters, but to wonder about the possibility of dying bcos of a lack of immediate supplies, a lack of means…it's something so preventable. So what if it hurts, if im sore, if im tired? It’s a blessing to be alive n healthy, n a sin to be selfish.
I've known so many people who've received blood transfusions in surgeries, including chi h___ n ba noi. I might've had one when I was 3 too. But basically, I know n have seen how heartbreaking it is to be extremely sick, so why would I not help improve someones health if I have the option?
I just always feel that I don't give enough in my life. With all my blessings, I don't feel that I do enough to pay my dues, to truly deserve them.
Mr. W_____'s story in class about his newborn needing 3 blood transfusions in the first 24 hours of life, n the way he was choking up, was just amazing. Old people are so sweet.
More lil details: spilled ice cream in Ms. W_____’s car :( sometimes, h____'s sucha douche n doesn’t appreciate me. But whatever, hes not worth stressing. N the a2a hot pot dindin was sooooo nice :) then at night, even though I stayed up til 1:30, it was worth it cos I had some maaad funny convos tha jus added to the good mood I had going. Mostly l____, b____, n s_____. Yeah, Tuesday was a damn good day. Today was depressing, but tomorrow's a new start.
Lets get itttt!