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Sunday, August 28, 2011

"How...

...could he leave them?" was what my cousin asked. 


Dinner at my aunt's, c        n i sitting next to her grand-kids, our lil cousins. D  is 9, older than her lil brother by 2 years, so she understands the situation completely differently n has been more emotionally influenced of the two. 


She wouldn't eat cos her mommy was late by 20 minutes, she didn't wanna start dinner before she came home. This has been the routine for 3 weeks, n there's still one more left. K    's been driving 2 hrs to new hampshire every week because the nail salons up there have greater clienteles n therefore pay muchhh better, n she needs all the money to rebuild with, to save up in case some more shit happens. But she comes home saturday nights, n goes to work monday mornings, leaving her kids with babysitters during the days n home with their grandparents at night. The mother says he comes around when she's gone, spends the night with his kids, but only sometimes. 


It forreal hurt to see the way D  jumped up from the table n ran to the door as soon as she heard the car pull in; she misses her mom that fucking much, n in the minutes she's not there she's worrying that her mom left her. K    , hell yeah she loves her kids, but she's never been the affection type, n shes exhausted every time i come by. She never shows as much as D 


They're so fucking cute the way they're babies again when she comes home, the way they mess around with her, cling to her, touch her, jump on her, ask her endless, senseless questions, n argue with each other over her attention n time. While they're dealing with their own issues as young kids with a mom that's always away, she's struggling as a single mother of two still heavy with heartbreak. It's written in her expressions n her energy. 


How could he gamble away all of their money, including his own kids' private school tuition, leave her, fuck some hookers in vietnam, "fall in love" with one, n still have the fucking balls to come around n torment her with the details of his affair? 


She's the mother of your children. 


How can you do that to her, n then put your kids through all that you have? As 1st n 3rd graders, they dropped out of school for two months. What father refuses school payments n chooses a foreign prostitute?


Those kids fucking radiate love as if they don't see what you've done to their mom. 


You're the biggest disappointment in this family, n nothing could ever justify your shit. Not your insecurities as a man. Not your father being absent for 10 years of your childhood.


So when we're having dinners without you, scooping veggies onto your kids' plates, we wonder...


"...How could he leave them?"

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